Sometimes it can be a big relief to have something to cry about, a trigger that opens you up, its a nice feeling, not one that chases you, not one that you are trapped by, but one that lets you melt a bit, it’s pleasent to indulge in, as long as you can choose not to let it disable you. ive recently been speaking to a very old friend, hes sort of more than a friend really, most of it is painful, hearing him finally getting better made me cry, hes been going insane and looking for some peace for as long as ive known him. I mean i think to some extent everybody is, of course, but its definately openly urgent with him, and it was with me, but i learnt to help myself, i feel it was a similar kind of need, i still feel it, but i dont panic as much when i do, beucase i know that i wont get anywhere like that, its a process, and it require patience and time, and there are ups and downs, when i try to think of how i feel, i cant really describe it, i do feel teary, but all i can diffinately say is that, when i think about it, my eyes well up and its a sure feeling, its nice not to have to question it, not to have to, doesnt mean i cant or i should or i shouldn’t, the point is, i dont feel like i have to. However, i do feel a background of something scary haning behind me, something dangerous, which i am curious about, and i dont want it to be there, but i know if i keep proding it, it will drive me insane, and focusing on the bad parts only bring more bad parts, my intentions are good, but its natural to fuck up, so lets see how things go.
Ice coated eyelashes in subzero temperatures
Photo credit: Rick Ackroyd
"Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck."
The Dalai Lama (via dreamguide)
More education = less babies
but people need to be willing to live different lifestyles to.
Procession of Souls (Procession des âmes ou Noël, toile mystique) by Louis Welden Hawkins,1893.
God I love her crazy eccentric ass.
”It’s called Transcending and it’s about one of the kindest people I ever met in my life. When I think about River I don’t think about his death. I don’t get sad about it. I think how incredibly fortunate I was to be friends with a person who looked inside me and saw things that no one else ever saw before. And that song is a respectfully loving song for him.”